An exercise studio is not my natural habitat. I live in my brain. Trouble is . . . my gray matter needs a better house to live in. That is why I’ve beat a path to the doors of Lagree YYC, daring myself and the Lagree Method to reverse years of neglect.
Kim Rothenberg, Lagree YYC’s High Priestess, must have needed a little time off after her first encounter with me, because there is a substitute teacher when I return for my second Lagree – Full Body – Light class.
Her name is Natascha, which makes me very, very frightened. Anyone who grew up on Rocky and Bullwinkle knows that a tall, dark and beautiful woman named Natascha is not to be trusted. She will, no doubt, torture me before she kills me.
I don’t have time to dwell on my imminent demise because Natascha puts us in gear punctually, making the most of our 45 minute class. The exercises are performed slowly but the trick is to get in motion and transition as quickly as possible from one exercise to the next.
Thirty seconds in, I am at a standstill. I don’t get the planking thing and feel my already conspicuous rear end rising, with a will of its own, heavenward instead of the nice straight line that Shannon has flawlessly executed on the Megaformer to my right.
While guiding the class as a whole, never missing a beat, Natascha offers a helpful word or nudge. I’ve also got Shannon (who just happens to be a Lagree YYC instructor) to emulate. I am one step closer to improved coordination, core strength and world domination.
I’ve always needed a staff. Fortunately, at Lagree YYC I’ve got access to one. Each instructor has been handpicked for teaching excellence. And each has another fitness-related area of expertise that contributes to the overall knowledge and expertise of the team and the benefit of Lagree YYC clients.
Which brings me to another member of the Lagree YYC team, also named Shannon. In addition to being a certified group fitness instructor, Shannon is certified as a holistic nutritionist . . . just the kind of person I have been successful in avoiding for five decades.
Shannon has been tasked with helping me develop a healthier approach to eating. If she is successful, she will earn a lifetime achievement award and a spot in the Guinness Book of World Records.
Alas, my first session with Shannon is pre-empted by her sudden, urgent need to spend an afternoon with a group of good looking firefighters who have descended upon her bedroom! If that doesn’t prove that the Lagree Method improves your strength and endurance, I don’t know what would!
At first I am disappointed that Shannon is otherwise occupied. Then I’m jealous of her good fortune. Then, knowing a good reprieve when I see one, I run around the corner to Village Ice Cream for one last scoop of salted caramel ice cream.
Upon recovery, Shannon E-mails me to let me know that all is well. I am relieved to hear that ATCO has fixed the gas leak at her place, pre-empting fireworks of any kind . . . That’s Shannon’s story and she is sticking to it!
We set a new date to begin working on a nutrition plan that will fuel my Lagree workouts and build a healthier me.
Next time: It Must be Jelly (‘Cause Jam Don’t Shake Like That)!