The Road to Well is Paved with Quinoa

On Wednesday, I arrived at my Lagree-Full Body-Light class feeling that I could do anything. I had the Flames and the Alberta NDP party to thank for that; on the same, historic evening they proved that anything is possible, even the pairing of Flame Roasted Duck and Orange Crush.

I was worried that I wouldn’t have much company at Lagree with everyone recovering from the intense cardio and fat burning workout flipping between the game and the election results. But, as usual, the class was full and Kim set our hearts pumping and our slow-twitch muscles vibrating.

It is a weird and wonderful sensation, the shaking that proves you’ve brought your muscles to fatigue. I ask the first gentleman of Lagree YYC whether it is normal to shake for hours after the class. Len says that long after his workouts are over, he finds himself checking to see if it’s his telephone vibrating! I am a little worried that My Long-Suffering-Husband will panic thinking that my tremors point to something even more deadly than exercise.

I am excited that I’ve finally figured out how to do a “catfish”. That exercise gets you up on your tippy toes posed as though you are wearing 6 inch stiletto hills while you keep your torso in a table-top position and move the carriage of your Megaformer back and forth using the balls of your feet. If I think too much about what this looks like to passersby on Elbow Drive, I will lose focus and pitch head-first into the well of the Megaformer ending my brilliant, tragically short-lived career as a bottom feeder.

But I’ve been getting better at focusing and at the quick transitions between exercises that maximize the Lagree workout. Last Monday I even took the non-light Full Body class and lived to tell about it.

Shannon H, who led that class, is the holistic nutrition consultant extraordinaire helping me to reach my fitness goals. She has reviewed the various assessment forms I’ve filled out with painful honesty.

Although I have managed to dodge serious illness thus far, I’ve got some habits and some symptoms that point to wear and tear on my cardiovascular system and liver. An overgrowth of yeasty Candida is, it seems, flourishing dangerously in my gut.

I am one caramel macchiato latte away from oblivion.

Shannon has prepared a sheet of general guidelines. My immediate goals are to increase fibre, eat more fruits and veggies, consume adequate and appropriate amounts of lean proteins, decrease sugar and starch, and say a tearful farewell to processed foods.

Honking big meals will be replaced by smaller portions of food throughout the day to keep my energy even and improve metabolism.

I am to move my recently re-discovered muscles daily; get outside for at least a half hour each day; sleep more, rising and retiring at the same times each day; practice deep –breathing exercises several times a day; and drink half my body weight in ounces each day.

 

I get excited about that last one until Shannon reminds me that my beverage of choice is water.

OH MY GOD . . . my brain isn’t so foggy that I don’t know what’s going on here . . . One of my greatest fantasies is coming true . . . I am entering the land of Oz, beloved TV doctor to the masses (who, like Shannon, devotes much air time to the merits of healthy, bulked-up poop).

For a moment, I actually imagine living on the Oz set. At least all those purple gloves will match my new favourite colour, Lagree purple. Hell of a commute though!

But I digress . . .

Shannon tells me that for my first 7 to 10 days, I’m to eat veggies, fruit (minus citrus) whole grains, nuts and seeds, fish and meat (finding Nemo more often than not), oils and seasonings (easy on the salt).

Though forewarned, Shannon veers into dangerous territory suggesting that I swap coffee for green tea.

“FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AND THE SAKE OF ALL HUMANITY, DO NOT TOUCH MY COFFEE, SHANNON! I WILL EAT AS MANY LEAFY GREENS AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE. I WILL PROMISE TO BE YOUR CHIA PET FOR LIFE. JUST BACK AWAY FROM MY COFFEE AND NOBODY GETS HURT!”

Shannon (who, for some inexplicable reason has not yet disappeared into the witness protection program) says that after the first week to 10 days, I get to add back – one at a time – citrus, eggs, dairy, yeast, corn and gluten, carefully monitoring my body and brain’s reaction to each addition.

I don’t have to count calories or carbs. I don’t have to weigh or measure my food.

Shannon doesn’t even ask me how much I weigh or what I want to lose.

This is all about what I am gaining . . . an overall healthy and balanced approach to eating and exercise. And the mountain of quinoa that was just offloaded on my front lawn.

If I forget what I’ve got to do, it is emblazoned on the wall at Lagree YYC:

  • EAT WELL.
  • MOVE DAILY.
  • HYDRATE OFTEN.
  • SLEEP A LOT.
  • LOVE YOURSELF.
  • REPEAT FOR LIFE.

What a great Mothers’ Day message!

By the way, don’t forget to take advantage of the 20% Mothers’ Day discount at Lagree YYC now through Sunday! And if you want to further treat yourself or that special Mom in your life, have a look at the new co-branded lululemon apparel available only at Lagree YYC.

Love you, Mom!

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